Possession
by camihere
Summary: All your friends hate you both, but you could care less because you have her now and the world for the first time looks beautiful and full of magic. People glare at your hands intertwined with frowns, but you could care less because you have her. BALEY.


**Possession**

You have her.

All your friends hate you both, but you could care less because you have her now and the world for the first time looks beautiful and full of magic. People glare at your hands intertwined with frowns, but you could care less because you have her. Her smell is on you; so much that sometimes you turn around because you think she's near, but it's actually just the smell of your hair. Her skin is on you; so much that sometimes just the thought of her touch is enough to make goosebumps rise. Her smile is so yours that sometimes you catch yourself biting your tongue the same way she does.

She tells you she loves you, but you can still see all the sadness behind the forced smiles. You believe in her… No, you _know_ she's telling you the truth, because there's no way this love is just pretend. She left her life behind to be with you and you feel guilty for all her suffering, so you hold her tight and try to make her sadness go away. It works for a while.

Lucas can't even look at you anymore. He doesn't make eye contact and he hates you for making his brother suffer, but deep down you know he understands. He knows a thing or two about forbidden love that hurts people around, afterall.

Peyton thinks you're a hypocrite. You still hate her for being a backstabbing two-faced bitch, but she makes it clear she hates you right back. She says you have no right to be mad at her when you've done the same thing to someone else. You shake your head in disapproval because she's so fucking clueless it actually _hurts_. You're not mad at her for trying to steal Lucas… twice. You're mad at her for not being your friend. But then again, you don't really care, because if it weren't for her betrayal, you wouldn't need to seek comfort in Haley and you'd never find out your true feelings towards her.

Rachel and Mouth are the only ones who still care. They don't disapprove of you two and the love you share and you are really grateful you have such good friends. You always knew Lucas was too flexible and Peyton was selfish.

You haven't seen _him_ yet, though. They all expect you to ask about how he's doing and how he's reacting, but you never do. You're too scared to hear the answer. They answer anyway, though, because they care too much about you. They try to comfort you and say it's not your fault when it clearly is. But then again, you don't choose who you fall in love with.

He is angry.

She's expecting his baby and he thinks he has rights and his sudden fits of anger scare her. You try to calm her down and kiss the fear away and it works for a while. You know he is correct, but you don't say anything. She knows it too and deep down she's grateful you don't tell her.

As much as you worry about Nathan being angry, Peyton's disapproval and Lucas' indifference, at the same time you don't worry at all, because you have her. You spend nights awake with her after the best sex of both your lives, just talking crap and choosing names for the baby. She likes James for a boy and Samantha for a girl. You smile and tell her you like them; Jamie and Sam. She smiles back and laughs at your crazy habit of nicknaming everyone around you. You tell her you only nickname who you love and call her Tutor Girl. She smiles and tells you she loves you right back. You spend the rest of the night awake, but with a little less talking and a lot more touching.

She's the best thing that has ever happened to you and you think you're gonna explode from happiness because you have her. She's funny, smart, beautiful, sexy and shy. She's unaware of the power she holds on you and you are glad, because it scares you what she would do if she realized she doesn't need to be around so much for you to keep loving her. Then it occurs to you that maybe, just maybe, she really truly loves you the same way you love her. You quickly shrug the thought away; there's no way anyone could love _you_ as much as you love her.

You get home and she smiles brightly and hugs you and kisses you and makes love to you. You start to accept the fact that there's actually someone who loves you. You try to keep a foot on the ground, though, just in case. It isn't much use, because you trust her blindly. Her smile never betrayed you, afterall.

The school team wins the state championship and you jump and smile and hug her. You have to stop yourselves from kissing each other right there and you whisper in her ear you're gonna get her later. She shudders and looks at you in that way that always makes you smile. You leave to congratulate the players and she takes the chance to tap your butt. She knows what turns you on.

You walk towards Lucas, who stands still in the middle of the crowd not really sure of what to do. He notices you next to him and smiles at you just like old times and hugs you. You hug him back because you miss old times so much. He seems to have forgotten you're screwing his best friend, because the way he looks at you is so full of caring and love. You notice Peyton far away and even though you hate her… you ask Lucas who he wants standing next to him when his dreams come true. He looks surprised at you and you smile at him. He thanks you with one last look and walks away. You're left alone and for a second you let all the pain consume your heart. You miss him.

But then it all goes away, because you see her in the corner of your eyes and she smiles at you in that way that melts your heart. You forget about Lucas, Peyton, Nathan and whoever else hurt you, because, as amazing as it seems, you have her. She winks at you and your cheeks hurt because of how wide your smile is.

You want to hate Nathan. Haley – your Haley – is hurt and it's all because of him. They were talking when some guy was about to run over them and she… she pushed him away and was ran over. You're scared for her, for the baby you started to consider your own and for Lucas, who'd literally had a heart attack when he saw the accident. You never really thought his heart was that fragile and you feel bad for taking him for granted. You start to pray for a God you tried to fool yourself into thinking doesn't exist… You pray for your friend, for your girlfriend, for your baby, for answers. You want to hate Nathan, but you know it wasn't his fault. She pushed him aside and took the hit.

You cry in the waiting room and there's no one to comfort you. Peyton's crying for Lucas, Nathan is crying for his family and even if they weren't crying for themselves, they wouldn't comfort you, because they hate you. So, instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you decide to be useful and do something.

You sit down next to Nathan and hope he doesn't hate you the way he hated Chris Keller. He doesn't. As soon as your butt touches the floor, his head turns your direction and you're actually afraid he's gonna hurt you. But he doesn't and you feel ashamed for thinking such horrible thing about such wonderful guy. His eyes are lost and they seek comfort. You relax under his gaze and stretch one arm out to wrap around his neck. He immediately rests his head on your shoulder and cries, breaking your heart. You could never resist a man crying, you realize.

You spend what feels like days in that stinky waiting room, but were actually hours, before the doctor walks in and asks for Haley's family. You both jump to your feet in seconds and you ask first about her. The doctor says you're not family and your heart breaks when Nathan has to step in and say he's her husband. You want to cry, because you feel Haley slipping away and you're not even sure in what way. The doctor says she's going to be fine and for a second you contemplate letting out the breath you'd been holding, but you're sure there's going to be a "but". You're right. He says she's fine, BUT they're not sure about the baby. You let out the breath you'd been holding, but not in relief. You're worried about Haley and the baby, because you know losing this child would destroy her and you're not sure you'd be able to deal with her pain.

It's seven forty five in the morning and you still haven't gone to bed. Peyton went home to get some sleep at some point and you decide that maybe Nathan needs some rest as well. You tell him to go home and he looks at you so lost it actually makes your eyes burn. You touch the side of his head gently in a gesture of empathy and caring you're sure he gets, because he leans towards your hand and closes his eyes. You realize right there that Nathan's probably the only one in their group – besides Haley, of course – who's worth something. So he goes home and you stay in the exact same spot he left you for at least forty five minutes before deciding it's time to do something.

You're not sure you can go home, so you decide to wander around the hospital. You find Karen in the chapel and you immediately want to turn around and leave, but she notices you at the door. She smiles and tells you to sit. You do as you're told and aren't really sure of what to say. She leans towards you and wraps her arms around you and for the first time since you last been with Haley, you actually feel safe. You close your eyes and you can almost hear a familiar voice whispering something. You close your eyes even harder and just then you can make out what they're saying.

_It's okay, Brooke. Just breathe._

You open your eyes quickly, but there's no one around. Karen smiles at you and starts telling you a story about Lucas and Haley. You had forgotten for a moment that Karen was a mother to both Haley and Lucas, not just the latter. You grew up with money and all the expensive toys Lucas and Haley could never dream of, but the truth is that you envy their childhood.

You think of Peyton and you realize maybe your childhood wasn't so bad afterall. But then again, thinking of Peyton makes you sad as you realize that maybe there's something wrong about you, because the people you love the most seem to be always lying to you.

You wonder if Haley ever lied to you. You wonder what she was talking about with Nathan before the accident. You wonder if that conversation would lead to lies.

You realize you wonder too much.

Nathan and Peyton return. The afternoon is gone and so are the day-nurses. The night-nurses don't know who you are, so you decide to fool them and enter Haley's room when nobody's watching. It's the first time you see her after the accident.

_God_ – you think –, she's beautiful even when she's hurt.

You're a little scared, because she's completely still and if it weren't for her slightly parted eyes, you'd swear she was asleep. You approach her bed and just then she seems to notice you, because her eyes open a little more as well as her mouth. She follows you with her eyes and for a moment you think you see surprise in her eyes. And then relief. And then just happiness.

"I thought–" she trails off. Your heart is beating so hard you think it will rip off your skin and fly away any second. "Can you hug me?"

"I don't want to break you," you stupidly say. You're so vulnerable and broken when you see her that way that you just can't touch her. You want to, you really do, so bad it hurts… But at the same time, you can't.

"I think I'm gonna die if I lose you," she says. There are tears in her eyes and you are so surprised at her reaction you actually hesitate for a moment. But then you jump on her as carefully as you can, lying next to her and with an arm on her belly, holding on to her clothes for dear life. You finally let your tears fall and you actually sob out loud, because you were so fucking scared you were going to lose her.

You were okay before her – you really were. But then she came and showed you real happiness and okay suddenly wasn't enough anymore. All because you had her.

"You're never gonna lose me," you reassure her even though you're the one who needs reassurance. "I'm the one who… God, I was so scared. I was… so afraid. And they wouldn't… They wouldn't let me see you, and… _God_."

Your body starts to hurt because you're supporting all your weight on yourself so you don't hurt her, but you don't care. You think you can stand all the weight of the world if that's what's necessary to have her safe. Quite honestly, you're pretty sure you can.

"Don't," you look up and meet her sweet brown eyes looking at you with love and your heart beats even faster. "Don't you _ever_ do this again, okay? Because, if you die… God, if you die, I think I'm gonna die together with you."

"Don't say that," she pleads.

"It's true," you cry. "You're all I have left in my life… If I lose you, I don't think I'm gonna make it."

"I don't want you to be sad," she looks at you with sad eyes and you know she wants you to be okay… She loves you and you smile because you have her.

"So you're just gonna to not die, okay?"

"I think I can try," she smiles jokingly, but you're serious.

"I don't want you to try," you don't smile anymore, because you want her to _see_ how much she means to you. "I want you to do it."

Her smile fades, but doesn't turn into a frown. She simply looks softly at you and you can swear her eyes pierce into your soul. You get that feeling that is oh so common when you're around her; like you're naked and she can see all your flaws.

"Okay," she says. "I promise."

And, even though you _know_ someday she's gonna die, you hold on to that promise for dear life. You don't want to think that someday you're gonna have to live without her.

The truth was that Lucas was always the one with the big mouth. He always made promises he couldn't keep. You honestly believe he had good intentions, but that doesn't change the fact that he broke your heart twice. Haley never made you promises she couldn't keep – until now – and never broke your heart. The truth is that a small part of you believes she actually would face death for you, and you realize it's the first time in your life you actually _feel_ the love of someone towards you. You never thought Lucas or Peyton or your parents would face death for you.

So you smile at her because for the first time in your life, you trust someone enough to give yourself to them. Not only do you have her, but she also has you.


End file.
